i’m still here…

alright, so it’s been awhile since i posted – i apologize.  things have been overwhelming at work over the last several months and so i haven’t taken the time to write on here as i wish to.  there’s been a lot of growing and stretching for me on the work front and a lot of upcoming change in our office, so it may stay crazy for a bit, but i’m optimistic that things will start looking up.

on the home front, things are very well.  ella is attempting full sentences which is just so cute.  a lot of times it is just gibberish, but more often than not, if you take the time to listen closely, she really is saying something.  adorable.  liam just keeps on growing – he’s on the verge of counting to twenty and has started trying to write his name on his own accord.  again, totally cute.  the kids keep aaron on his toes during the day, and we’re all thankful for warmer weather so they can get out of the house more.

speaking of getting out of the house more, i took today as a vacation day and the fam and i had an awesome, action packed day.  this weekend is the annual balloon stampede in walla walla – pretty much a gathering of hot air balloons.  on friday, saturday and sunday mornings of this weekend, there’s a hot air balloon launch at around 6am.  we got up early (our kids are always up around 6:00/6:30 am any way) and walked over to one of the fields from where some of the balloons are launched.  after breakfast, we hung out at home for a bit and then hit up downtown.  downtown is one of our favorite places to go in walla walla.  we had a yummy lunch at el sombrero and then the kids got haircuts.  we go to this awesome saloon that specializes in children haircuts.  the kids LOVE it there.  later, after naps, we went back to the fairgrounds where the booths/vendors for the balloon stampede set up.  and lastly, my parents took the kids to dinner and spent the evening with them so we could go out to dinner and hit up the local high school production of the sound of music.  it was a wonderful day living my “real life”.

the last little update for our family is that aaron is going to assist a local photographer friend of his at a few weddings this summer, which is very exciting for him.  he already assisted at one last weekend and had a great time.  i think he’s learning a lot, and his quality of pictures great – and getting better every day.  he’s done a couple weddings himself for some friends of mine through work and has done a beautiful job.  i’m excited to see where this venture goes for him.

that about wraps it up.  well, except for the amazingly adorable pictures that shall now ensue:

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and my heart burns for you

brokenness
shattered bits
tattered pieces
tumultuous emotions pervading my core;

these are the conspirators that tear at my heart

angry voices
self-righteous proclamations
haughty sneers
indignant protests;

these are the accomplices from whom i wish to part

away from me self-indignation!  away from me outcries of the overindulged!
shed some Light through this fog of darkness; Wisdom alight in this time of need!
away from me contempt!  away from me churlishness!
fly away and bid me company no more!

replace fear and self-righteousness with sorrow and remorse
replace hate with compassion and kindness
replace indignation with humility and caution
replace, replace, replace

use my brokenness to shape me, to make me stronger;
may i be an over-comer, may i rise above the rancor
re-assemble my shattered, tattered pieces;
make me whole, make me whole
give me words of power, words of wisdom;
give me peace, give me peace
send your Light, send your Love, send your Peace

 

get your own blog

i really want to start some kind of blog to give voice to issues about which i feel very strongly.  however, i feel so weary of reading articles or posts these days and being bogged down by the more-often-than-not negative or nasty comments that ensue.  i don’t want to be criticized or critiqued or bludgeoned by someone else’s contradictory opinion – i just want a place to express some ideas or link to some articles that particularly move me one way or another.  i’ve decided that the tag line to this blog should be, “if you want to voice your own opinion, start your own blog.”  at the same time, this idea is a bit contrary to what i believe – i mean, i really believe that everyone has the right to their own opinion, and i fully support freedom of speech….even if i don’t agree with your speech.  but then on the other side, (now you can hear the debate going on in my head) what is a blog really?  to me, it is kind of like an electronic diary.  do other people get to voice their opinions of my diary?  only if i allow them.  so, i keep coming back to the tag line, “if you want to voice your own opinion, start your own blog.”

so, perhaps i’ll eventually have a link to a new blog on here that expresses my impassioned opinions about life, politics, religion, God.  if i do, i’m pretty sure there won’t be an option to “comment,” but please don’t be offended.  if i want your opinion, i’ll ask….or i’ll read your blog.

Looking Up

It’s time to get our finances in order.  It’s time to get out of debt.

I started working with a debt-calculator (http://www.vertex42.com/Calculators/debt-reduction-calculator.html) this weekend, and Aaron and I have begun talking BUDGET.  Oh, man.  It’s a big step, but necessary and not impossible.  I was inspired by a story that I read about a one-income family paying off their $77,000 debt in only two years.  I thought, if they can do it, we can do it!  It gave me hope…that it’s not out of our grasp.

Being debt-free has been a dream of mine for about 10 years.  It will take dedication and sacrifice, but we believe it will be worth it.  I can’t wait to buy a home, to go on family vacations, and to do good with our money without feeling STRAPPED.  It has become clear to me that we desperately need discipline and resolve in this area.

So, wish us luck, and for all of you pray-ers, please pray for God to help instill in us the will to overcome our debt! 

Old Post: June 2, 2007

Aaaaand, last one from facebook:

june 2, 2007

by Auralee Grubb on Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 4:04pm

i am destined for a tragic Romance. i long for melancholy despondency and yearn for a heart rent in two. lonely desperation beckons me, calling my name. i am incomplete unless i am crushed. i embrace confusion and run toward contempt. there is a chasm between me and the lost art of living. i am a prisoner chained to myself. my shackles bind me to my misery and my filth makes me unrecognizable. my cries go unheard.

Old Post: April 12, 2007

another post that made it from myspace to facebook and now here:

april 12, 2007

by Auralee Grubb on Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 4:02pm

in the beginning i was disappointed by the sight of you
i compared you to all i ever knew and found you wanting
my heart belonged elsewhere and would not be swayed
i longed to leave you, to only come back when i had to
time could not fly by fast enough
eventually i left you and embraced another
but spring came ’round and with it came traces of you
memories ran the corridors of my mind
like echoes through empty rooms
softly you entered my heart, subtly
eventually i wandered back to you
not knowing that beauty lay within
time has chipped away at my scorn
endearment has sprung up like a sprout in pavement
surprisingly green, willing life where there was none
as i walk your streets i begin to see your beauty unfolding
rays of hope begin to shine through what once seemed bleak
promise springs through your trees
you are to me an acquired taste
but i am getting there
i will run my bare feet through your grass
i will breathe in your spring air
and i will pause to enjoy the moments i have with you
for only time will tell how long we have together
but if the future determines our parting
then i shall have no regrets for today

acr ~ 4/07

Old Post: Sunny day…chasing the clouds away

another re-post from my facebook account:

sunny day….chasing the clouds away…

by Auralee Grubb on Sunday, April 3, 2011 at 11:33pm

i love the memory of this day.  it was only a few days after ella was born, and i was beginning my maternity leave.  it was late summer, so the sun was still inviting, but this particular morning it was a bit windy.  the flush of hormones was still coursing through my body and the enormity of just giving birth to a baby and taking on the overwhelming responsibility of a new little life was still weighing on me.  aaron and i decided to go to

a little park that we enjoyed walking to before ella was born.  we needed some air, we needed some light, we needed a new perspective.

the first few weeks of a baby’s life are very overwhelming for me.  having a small, vulnerable child depending on me for EVERYTHING causes me to wilt a bit and turn inward.  but this time we had another little life to tend to.  we wanted to make sure that through the transition of a new baby, liam was still thriving and showered with love.  we made an effort to include him in as much as we could as soon as ella joined our little family.  and he accepted her immediately as part of our lives.  he has always been a trooper; dependable, loving.  he brings so much joy to our lives.  having liam there helped me to reach outside of my slump and pull myself together.  this particular morning he filled with love and laughter as he sat on my lap, and we sang songs as the wind whipped through our hair.  it helped me feel hope.  it gave me hope that normalcy was still there within my grasp.  hope that there was still joy to experience.  hope that we’d always remain a family even when change comes.

so, for this sunny day in pullman, washington, i am forever grateful.  i will always think fondly of our time there, and of the memories that we made…

october 7, 2006

Another old post originally from MySpace, moved to Facebook, and now taking permanent residence here:

by Auralee Grubb on Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 3:59pm

it’s sad when we get lost in life. when confusion blinds our way. when nonsense and insignificance crowds out the sweet richness and simplicity of what we are created for. i long for more and less at the same time. more God-given freedom and less crowding. i yearn for sight, not only for myself, but for a whole generation. no more nonsense. no more pretense. the raw, the beautiful, the ugly, the naked. i want the Truth.

Old post: August 18, 2009

I am posting this here because it is a Note I had posted on Facebook a few years back, and I don’t want to forget what was going through my head during that time.  it was entitled:

things going through my head this last weekend…

by Auralee Grubb on Tuesday, August 18, 2009 at 10:34pm

- i’ve never been taken by the palouse before, but my! they are breath-taking at dusk

- things don’t always go MY way, and that’s okay; just another opportunity for me to learn and grow

- how did i get here?

- the thing i like about listening to “Christian” or worship music is that it gets my mind looking up and out instead of in and…in

- i will miss my wwcc family

- grandparents ROCK!!

- being “married with children” is not better than being single; it’s just different – different challenges and problems. it all still boils down to how you approach life and what your attitude reflects. there are incredible joys that accompany each as well

- am i dead?

- i need to figure out how to handle major life stress better

- this is not what i thought my life would look like/be like; i wanted to make a difference – do more than pay rent each month. is it too late? i don’t even know where to start…maybe if i can just make a difference in my kid’s life…maybe that’s a start

- dreading daycare next week *tear*

- the buck stops here. take responsibility for what happens in your life

- if i want a good cry, i just need to read a conversation between harry and dumbledore. that will do it.

- my husband is a hard worker when he puts his mind to it; i’m thankful for all of his hard work this weekend

- i like how some of the main roads in pullman loop around

- grateful for the family and friends who offered a bit of themselves to help our cause this last weekend. WE COULDN’T HAVE MOVED WITHOUT YOU!!

- i have a new deep respect for single parents; it’s hard for both aaron and i to manage a move with ONE child – i can’t imagine mothers/fathers that have more than one facing a family move

- i’m tired. i’m going to bed.

Traveling through time

It’s hard to believe that a whole year has passed since we moved from Pullman, WA back to Walla Walla.  The kids are a year older, and really, are just not babies anymore!  Ella (16 months) is daily adding words to her growing vocabulary, Liam (3 years) is constantly showing us that our toddler has been replaced by an all-out preschooler, and they are both on the verge of becoming potty trained.  There is a lot of laughter (and tears and shouts and….) in our household.  Aaron and I never planned to have kids so early in our marriage, but really, we just can’t imagine life without them.  I think we’d both be extremely bored…and caught up on sleep – what fun is that?!?

As I think about the last year, I am drawn to the realization that I never seem to be quite content with the present, but instead am always searching or longing for things in the past or things yet to come.  I think it’s good to have dreams and desires for the future, but sometimes I can lose sight of the good things that are happening right now in my life.  Other times, I romanticize the past and “remember” how great everything was “back then” which can easily become a place where you can lose yourself.  My goal for myself in the coming year is to be more content with who I am and where I am in life.  Sure, my life didn’t exactly go the way “I planned”, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t still be great and fulfilling.  So, that is my goal this year.  I am determined to find peace in my life each and every day…and hopefully pass that peace along to my family.

Ella loves to hug Liam; Liam's not so sure yet